Essay: Quibbling Wieners, or Lobots in Love

Overheard at a San Francisco Giants game:

“I can’t believe I haven’t got an email since 11:59. I got 21 emails this morning, then nothing.”

“Oh my God! I wish my inbox was that slow today. I replied to like ten people during the last inning.”

“There’s this stupid app I’m trying to get to work, but it’s not integrating properly…”

“Someone just added me on Facebook who I like really, really don’t want to know about, but I don’t know how to say ‘no.’”

“Just ignore the request.”

“I know, but they'll like know I’m ignoring them.”

“Oh well…”

“There was a news story this morning about the new Google operating system.”

“Oh yeah, Chrome.”

“Yeah, I wonder what Sheila’s going to say about that. She was so bummed out by Android, I don’t know if she’ll ever give it a chance. Oh my God!!”


“I have to read you what Tony just posted on my page. He said, ‘There ain’t no party like a Lisa Loeb party!’ Hahahaha!”


“Oh Jesus. Like, has he not ever mentioned Lisa Loeb during the span of a day?”

“He loves her. He's such a Loeb-ot.”


"He's a Loeb-ot. Never mind."


“This Blackberry is slow today…”

“Well at least you have an excuse for not answering your emails.”

“That’s the thing – I haven’t got any emails for over an hour. So weird…”

“Remember when all you had was that like Sidekick, and you were on the road going to trade shows all the time? That was like the stone age! Hahahaha!!”

“I’m supposed to be getting an iPhone upgrade, I just haven’t filled out the req forms.”

“Oh you should totally do that! Give me your old one!”

“Sure, if they let me.”

“I’m sick of not having one!”

“It’s been almost two hours since I got an email…”

Needless to say, the Giants lost.


  1. I was at the beach and they were talking about this shit there too, and the "they" was seagulls.

  2. Hey we're gonna start a fire her one day